Yes, I am a carnivore.

I was at dinner at Seacobeck some weeks ago when I decided to try a new dish. After I sat down with my friends I had the following conversation, which I scribbled on a napkin once I managed to stop laughing :)
Jessica: “What is that?”
Me: “A vegan burrito.”
Jessica: “What’s in it?”
Me: “I dunno. Vegans?”
Jessica: “Ha ha ha. So you’ve become a carnivore?”
Me: “Hahaha!”
Jessica: “I mean a cannibal!”
She made a lexical retrieval error in the form of a malaprop (phonological substitution), likely facilitated by the fact that she was thinking about what a vegan was, and the fact that they don’t eat meat.

It’s due at two a.m. (on Tuesday)

I was just telling someone in the class what time the exams are due, and instead of saying they’re due at 10 a.m. on Tuesday, I said the were due at 2 a.m. on Tuesday! That’s an anticipation error, facilitated by the fact that two is a number, so it creates a real word and fits in the semantic context. (sort of). I don’t think I’ll ever actually set a due date at 2 a.m.

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